listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My bed smells like the plague
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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