Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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