i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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