so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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