He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
