You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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