I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
