lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
