Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
