Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
