We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
