You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
