Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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