Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
