Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
