Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
