AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
