Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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