Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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