We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
