Ambien. No doubt about it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
