I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
