Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
