that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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