his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
