hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
