so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
