I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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