I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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