One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
