Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
