Where is the hickey?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my liver is dry heaving
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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