Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
