Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
