just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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