I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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