Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
