whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
