are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
