Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
