You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
