and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
