Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
