Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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