and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
