dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
