For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
