youre lurking in front of me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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