The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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