fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
