All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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