i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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