Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
