Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
