you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's the barista slut.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
